massive update post + thoughts

posted on: Monday, 26 December 2016








If there were an omniscient god who was present in the day-to-day lives of every single human being on the planet, a "perfect" God, I could only imagine that each person would have to have their own personal god. And if God favoured one person and answered that prayer, would he not act against the immediate "loser". So if I prayed for victory in a football match and God answers my prayers and delivers me victory, then isn't he acting against the opposing team? What if someone on the opposing team prayed for victory? Life is too intricate for there to be an all-powerful God. Even if there were a God, how would this being be "perfect". Perfection is objective, it's in the eye of the beholder. If humanity is imperfect and flawed, than what is the "perfect" version of ourselves? It does not exist in our reality, as all humans are flawed, so how can we think of a "perfect human"?

This is why religion doesn't do it for me. Dogma is subjective, it relies on what other people consider to be "perfect" or "moral." Do we really need the Bible to tell us not to kill other beings? If I'm not a Christian that believes in the Christian dogma, therefore the 10 Commandments, does that mean I am suddenly filled with the desire to murder? I do not need someone to tell me what is so obviously right and wrong. The values of a society change over time and it has nothing to do with religion, the dogma of which remains the same as it did thousands of years ago. Christians today look back at the Old Testament and say it's obsolete, that it's not what true Christians believe nowadays. They say this using a sense of morality that obviously doesn't come from their own dogma. In fact, the Bible has multiple editions and versions that have been edited over time to match the values of the society at the time. Therefore, the progress of society's morality is separate from dogma. If this is the case, then my morality does not come from religion, but from what is inherently my own and that of my society. I have never wanted to kill another person, not from the moment I was born. I draw upon John Locke's argument of "tabula rasa": we are not born sinners. In fact, sin itself is something I have a problem with, but that'd draw this conversation along way too far.

My point is, I choose my own happiness, my own path, without the influence of religion or what other people believe. I think each person creates his or her own reality. This reality is either similar to the reality of many others, or it is deluded and far-stretched from the mean. For instance, people born to extreme privilege, power, and wealth exist in a different reality than the poor homeless on the streets.

I've come to the realisation that you should do what you want to do in life. Let go of things that are holding you back and move on with your life. My problem is that I become attached. I'm empathetic sometimes to a fault. I'll put up with stuff from other people when they're 90% annoying and only 10% decent because I look at the 10%, not the 90%. It's still that way even now, except I've learned to recognise when to let go for my own sake. When you give too much of yourself to someone else, it becomes hard to distinguish your true desires from the desires of others. Mild detachment is not horrific. You'll learn to enjoy life more. It's liberating. Don't concern yourself with what others think is right and wrong because as I've said before, morality is objective.

I've been to a few holiday parties and without concerning myself with the issues of my personal life, or the issues of other people that affect me, I let loose and had quite a bit of fun! I was more social than usual, less cynical, and more aware of the good things around me. Below is proof of how happy I was:

Making new friends
With this message of positivity comes well wishes for the new year! I've started early on my resolutions: working out at the gym, eating right, and reading books. Your body will be with you for the rest of your life, it'll last as long as you do, so treat it right! My other resolution is way harder: finding a romantic interest. The one I had in middle school/high school is not doing it for me now. I'm getting caught in my usual trap: I'm the one inviting the dude out, texting first--everything. I think he likes me but I'm losing interest. I fall for shy people but I think an outgoing person is what I need most. Thoughts?

Bonus Photos: Korean Karaoke night with my Tech friends! Me and four other girls, all Korean, decided to drive to little Korea in Duluth to go to Korean Karaoke, the Super H-Mart (a Korean grocery store), and enjoy some authentic Korean food for dinner.








I apologise for this massive update post but allow me this selfishness. I'd like to think of this blog as an online journal, as I sure as hell wouldn't print out all these photos to paste in my actual journal. I'm considering making this blog just private because I have been treating it as an online journal instead of a professional publishing blog. Pages will always be professional, so if I do make this blog private, you can still find me on my book blog!

Thank you for reading! Hope you have a happy new year and comment with any thoughts ;)

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